What a journey life is. “The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be the beginning”-Ivy Baker Priest I had to look up who said that, and I feel like it fits what’s going on now. There are a lot of things I’ve successfully accomplished and am done with and some projects that are still waiting to be tended to. But life goes beyond projects and work.
Recently, my dear mom has had some heart trouble and my sisters and I are all checking in on her. She has a lot on her plate mentally and that can put stress on the physical. She is taking a better attitude with things that don’t need to stress her out and I’m inspired by that attitude. For example, when I was saying that another car was trying to pull in and she could sense the tension in my voice, she simply said “well, they can wait”. She wasn’t going to rush or panic. Wow. That coming from her touched me. Because I attend to subtle and small cues of others all day and that I’m continually responding to those things I’m highly attuned to responding. But, when I’m out of my sessions with clients, I need to be able to choose wisely for myself (and without panic, rushing, or added stress patterns) not only what I choose to respond to, but HOW I choose to respond to things. It’s sometimes easier to respond to another’s needs because you might see their blind spots, but with your own it may take some digging to unveil your best next action. Well, in regards to my mom’s health what I know is that I could go into panic or I could choose stay focused in prayer and in faith. The latter two of prayer and faith feel better, so that where I will keep bringing myself back to that if I drift off in the other not so desirable direction.
My scheduling this week got out of whack with my group coaching call for the Abundance Cubed project and that was a bit of a stress, but I was able to resolve that by shifting some appointments last minute, which I do not like doing. But one has to be flexible and I remind myself that a choice I make is dependent on the circumstances and what I might judge as “not right or not the best choice” for me in one situation very well could be the “best or right” choice in another scenario. I keep choosing what is right for me at the moment.
This past week I also found out that a woman who has been a mentor, therapist and teacher to me over the past 13 years, had passed. I saw her on and off during those 13 years, but not much in recent years. She helped me get through some pretty heavy stuff back when I first saw her and helped me become aware of so many things that have brought me much freedom in my life today. It pierced my heart to hear that she has moved on from this world, as she was so very gifted in helping others and also quite young in today’s time. She passed at 70 years of age, which is younger than both of my parents. All this, through the waves of emotions passing through me as I grieve her loss, has reminded me to be fully present and fully engaged with each and every person. Because you never know when it will be the last time you see them. I am called to step back and really honor the fragility and beauty of being in this time and space. Just like the tiny seedlings that I am growing indoors that are quite vulnerable and needing certain elements, each project in my life needs care, nurturing, and certain things from me. Yet, so do I also need care and nurturing when things like this are going on. Which means some things sit still while other things move. Such is the dance, flow and response we participate in with life.
Today a squirrel came up to my left foot (the receiving side) and I knew it was time for me to receive a message that would help me move forward at this moment in time. The squirrel almost touched my left foot! The left side has to do with receiving and the right with letting go. The foot has to do with moving forward. Yesterday, my right foot was really bothering me…a sign that I needed to let go of some things in order to move forward. The squirrel indicated from her behavior of sheltering with her tail and then standing up with her front paws by her heart, that to me it’s time for a bit of sheltering (with the comfy tail..for me maybe a cozy blanket) and from there to tend to matters of the heart. To process all that is going on with my mother, and let go of the emotions surrounding the passing of my long time mentor, who taught me much also about healthy balance. Tuesday’s group call focusing on our relationship with wealth brought up some deep things from childhood regarding my relationships with finances. There are some very positive things there as well which I will also look at as I’ve got a plan for some meditations around these things. I thought I’d be writing about and exploring all that this week, but the squirrel teaches balance in life between work and play. Right now I’m balancing matters of my emotions and heart and just really being present to what is in front of me. I’m taking it a bit slower than normal and that’s OK. My schedule in life always give me a bit of room when I’m in need of that too, so I’m grateful for that. I trust things will pick back up when it’s right. Plus this will give me time, when I’m ready to dive into other projects that have been on hold. But for now, I’m tending to my inner squirrely nature by going back and forth between work and not so much play, but resting, nurturing and caring for myself. It allowing me to cry and let go.
Updates are that I’m tackling an unfinished project this upcoming week with my billing records. It’s been weighing heavy on my mind, and I know it will free up more energy to look at other aspects of my relationship with wealth and capability to focus on that. This month’s reading is Rich Dad Poor Dad. I’ve read that book before, but often when I read the same book again I get different things out of it because of how I’ve changed and where I’m at at the time. Each moment is different and each moment is precious is what I’m learning and the best I can do in each moment is to keep showing up courageously and honestly to what is there.
All these things recently with health scares of family members, other upsets, loosing people we have been touched deeply by or whatever it is…it may seem like an end, but based on Ivy’s words I’m going to look for a new beginnings as I move through all of this, and all of life. Already I’m a bit more present, a bit more grateful, a bit more raw, and a bit more real. I’ll take all of that for my next moment of a new beginning starting with a comfy bed and a comfy blanket! Goodnight all.
Awareness Movement Break: Did you know that if you are a side-sleeper that your pillow shouldn’t be too high or too low? Either way you can give yourself one of those nasty neck kinks that might give you pain the next day…or over years of doing this you’re heading for disaster. Be sure that your neck’s line of vertebrae when viewed from the front would be a direct extension from the center of your trunk where your ribcage is. Be sure that your neck isn’t angling down or up…but instead is a straight extension of your middle. If it’s too low try putting a folded towel in your pillowcase on the underside to make it JUST right! If it’s too high, find yourself a narrower pillow. Get it right. You and your sleep and how you feel is worth it!